Posted on my Fetlife and added to my primary kink blog
There is a difference between being Polyamorous and being in a polyamorous relationship (or being a person in a relationship with a poly person)
Simply its a matter of the person figuring it out them self.
You can still be monogamous with a poly person. You have not magically changed. You are not a bad person if you can’t see everything from a poly perspective.
You may be an ass, though, if you refuse to communicate just because they aren’t givIng you what you need as a monogamous person.
You are a person who is accepting that you love a person capable of loving more, or that just has different needs.
Don’t let people tell you, you are poly.
Ask yourself ” Am I poly or Am I monogamous? ”
You define yourself. You don’t even have to define yourself. Just do you and ask questions if needed.
To the people who think that just because there is a poly dynamic going on that people have to by default be poly. Get over yourself.
Your relational orientation doesn’t always just change because you met a person you like.
Monogamous and poly folks, there is a thing called being in an open relationship, which is different. I mean if you care to define your relationship, there are glossaries that have a ton of other terms.
It’s not as simple as you are monogamous, or you are poly.
Some people are monogamous. Some people aren’t. It’s ok.
But telling people who really are monogamous, or some form of it, that they are poly without that being how they label, can be a potentially harmful thing to them. They need to realize this on their own if it’s true.
They have to learn to deal with some of the differences between monogamy and poly at their own pace.
Sincerely, a girl who could have fucked over her monogamous partner by saying “No, fuck you, you are by default poly.”
Think of it from the same perspective of people telling poly people we are wrong and have to conform to the societal “norm”. Since you know most married people are really monogamous.