Should wives be compensated if it doesn’t work out?

Note: The quotes are real, but out of respect to the people and their families privacy, and possibly safety, I will not say who they are and what group the quotes came from.

So in one of the poly/plyg groups, I am in on Facebook it was brought out that “The number one reason that polygamy SHOULD be legalized, Hold men and families LEGALLY accountable. Would so many be ready to jump in a marriage if they realized if things go south the departing spouse can “divorce” them and get compensated for their time and effort. Too many times I see a woman put out when things go sour because the husband isn’t legally married so therefore don’t have to worry about post marriageable responsibilities.” Which I definitely agree with (mostly).

There was also the differing opinion of “Just a thought….being #2 and not legally married to my husband….In my opinion…I think no one is entitled to what another people makes….yes being a housewife is a respectable job. But if you cannot uphold to her commitment (either party) then why should u be awarded a percentage of your spouse’s income….if you decide to no longer be married…whether it be legally or not then you have to make you own life and support yourself….yes the other should help support the children if they are not with you but it’s like unemployment if u quit a job then they won’t pay you anything but if they lay you off then u are entitled to something in the meantime while you find another job….I think that is how it should be if a marriage comes to an end!”.  I agree with this viewpoint as well.

But we still have to ask ourselves what should constitute compensation for time and how much?

When/why should you be compensated?- I believe that a woman should be compensated for her time and effort in the plural marriage after it has been determined that it will not work. If it was originally her idea/decision with no cause for her spouse and her sisterwife/ves because she doesn’t want to be with them or Plyg isn’t for her then I don’t think the (ex)husband is required to compensate her for time, ect unless they BOTH mutually agree to it (Though it would be nice dude!!! You did marry her, right, and promised to take care of her; so helping her till she get herself together isn’t that bad). In my opinion.

How much?-  Now I’m not saying that she should get 50% of everything because that is outrages when you have other wives and children to care for. I think that until it is made legal it should discuss with the group of consenting adults before the marriage ceremony and plans begin to make an agreement for a very basic compensation that can later be adjusted if needed. If we do go poly I am adamant that my fiancé (husband at that point of course) will take care of the woman’s/en’s Basic needs till she gets on her feet and that of any resulting children.  Basic needs constitute shelter, food, and clothing. Anything else would have to be discussed.

Now, this is only how I feel it should work while plyg is technically not legal, but hopefully, some of these ideas will be taken into consideration when it is made legal.  I’m very optimistic. (Why is it not legal, when a man has no right to make laws regarding things like this?)


  1. All this would result in is once again (as with monogamous marriages) inviting the government to interfere where they have no damn business. Marriage is only between a man, a woman and God (Mal 2:14-16). If a woman is stupid enough to marry (in the legal or biblical sense) a man who does not have the integrity to stand by his word (Matt 5:37). Then she should suffer the consequences of her (stupid) choices.

    The moment we ‘involve’ any ‘other’ power in the marriage covenant, we deny God His power, we supplant His authority, and we expose the relationship to outside influences which have no business within the marriage. The relationship as much as the marriage bed is SANTIFIED, that is set apart, or as put in the KJV – undefiled – (no other but the parties DIRECTLY involved, i.e. husband, wife and GOD).

    We must be VERY careful as to how we ask others (outsiders) to interfere in our marriages, ESPECIALLY ungodly (or even pagan and/or satanic) governments etc.

    If God is not enough to run our marriage, then surely the marriage is not one that has been put together by God – Matt 19:6


    1. First and foremost it is impossible to have non government interference in marriage. Even when we didn’t have actual “government” there was a hierarchy of sorts in all civilization that had some simple breakdown of how marriage should be. Next, how is it a woman’s fault if she married a man and ended up being deceived (the same also applies for a man)? I really can’t see why a person could not own up to a mistake and help a person who they supposedly loved for a length of time and married under God and Goddess. If you are a man who decide to live a polygamous life, is it not known that you are responsible for the care of these women as not only earthly head but spiritual head; in the christian biblical perspective of course. and further on that perspective if you are taking the financial support away from a woman who has been there for you and your family then you decided you didn’t like it, why should you not provide something to help her get to a place of stability. Is that not something both moral and ethical but simply decent.



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