UPDATE:: So I finished my finals for this semester at university, and I hope to get back to the blog (hopefully) and researching about poly relationships as I decide if this is really a lifestyle I could live or the novelty, over the last few years, of some forbidden lifestyle. I think I might make a post explaining who I am in part so you all might get a better Idea of who I am and where these thoughts are coming from.
**I would like to take a moment to remind everyone that this is an opinion blog that documents what I learn from the research I am doing on this subject. My views may change over time and my perception of the information I read may not do justice to the fact of it.**
My fiance and I recently got a Netflix account and so I decided to start watching the show Sister wives. I’m sure most of you know what I am referring to, but if you don’t it is a show about a real-life polygamist name Kody brown and his family who came out. It’s kind of like a documentary. I found that this show has reinforced my belief that polygamy is not hard, it is just riddled with difficulties much like any other relationship. You learn to adapt and you grow and move on. I should add that I define hard as unbearable to deal with, manage, control, overcome, or understand; almost completely undo-able while defining difficulty as not easily or readily done; requiring much labor, skill, or planning to be performed successfully. It seems to be pretty standard to me because those two words are synonyms but not exactly the same though used interchangeably.
Now, please believe me when I say I do not believe that poly-anything is sunshine and roses; My own current mono relationship is far from that. Maybe I am just trying to make it seem more palatable but while watching this show I have become more firm in my belief that poly is not very different from any other relationship other than dynamic. Yes, I completely agree that more people truly does add more stress and complication. Yet, if all the adult (wives, husbands, boyfriends/girlfriends) are consenting and willing to work and care for each other then why shouldn’t it work; not be perfect but work.
I am adding here a link that personifies why I think poly is just as workable as any other relationship. If you loved someone enough to marry them or even just commit to them, then the complications of life and all the things that God and Goddess alike throw at us shouldn’t make you give up. What is said in that pic needs to be a universal way of thinking? Getting married is just a contract on a flimsy sheet of paper but marriage is what drew you to that person what made you make that promise and commitment. People are marrying without thought and giving up too quickly. We think so much with our hormones instead of brains thinking only of what feels right now, and not for what feels like it could be right for a lifetime. Then when it starts breaking most don’t ever consider fixing the relationship. They allow it to crumple and then walk away.
I know a few poly and mono families that have a similar outlook like that pic and that is why they are strong. They have their problems but they are strong. Those that engage in poly should all be adults who know that life doesn’t give you exactly what you want. You get what you need and it’s up to you to do the rest.
So say I have my husband (current fiance) and sisterwife/ves, if he chooses to do this. I know as of now I won’t be overjoyed at all times to be sharing the man I love, but as time moves on I will get better at dealing with the loss of him by my side every night knowing that, even though we all may disagree most of the time we all made a commitment to love and honor each other and we never would’ve made that commitment if we didn’t believe it was possible.